Oh my, what a mess your in.... what a tangled web.
WT is totally against 'having your cake and eating it too', and if you have 'been in' until now, you should know it.
Lately, conventions, magazines, talks and everything are geared to 'shunning anyone and anything that is not "totally in."'
I am sorry, you should just get the most out of life that you can. Be happy, be merry, and do not worry about JWs.... Be prepared, you most likely will lose your mum and dad. (look at the Pale Emperor's post "I just saw my mom the first time in 3 years")